Washington Football Team holding party for new name and fans two days after announcing rebrand in New York

That looks about right.

That looks about right.
Illustration: Getty Images

There are a lot of things you see on the internet that you are immediately skeptical of, like “Cannabis compounds prevent the virus that causes COVID-19 from penetrating healthy human cells, according to a lab study.”

If that’s true then a lot of my friends who caught Omicron probably shouldn’t have. I would like to believe that, but it probably deserves a Google search or two.

I feel similarly about this tweet:

Yes, I would and can believe that the Washington Football Team plans to hold a fan party in the DMV (DC/Maryland/Virginia) area for its new name two days after revealing the name in New York, but that’s too perfect. It’s along the lines of “Jay Gruden says Washington Football Team ‘should have never changed the name’” as far as Idiot of the Month material.

It reads like an Onion headline, but for WFT fans it’s an all too real nightmare that never ends. (Not Jay Gruden, the franchise, but Baby Gruden technically was associated with the franchise, so him saying some stupid shit about the franchise goes hand-in-hand. Kind of like how saying racist shit goes hand-in-hand with his brother.)

However, let’s see if the name reveal not happening where the team plays, or during a team-sanctioned event, is true. Yup. It’s true.

If you’d like to view the reveal, it’s happening on The Today Show in New York on Feb. 2, and if you’d like to go to the Park-N-Party at FedEx Field, kind of near where the fans reside, to awkwardly celebrate the new brand, it’s Feb. 4.

Honestly, I think the team is probably doing this out of fear that the fanbase will immediately revolt/riot because they picked something stupid like the Washington Wizards. While I’m here at the corner of Cynical Street and Smartass Avenue, I should note that the release says you won’t have to wait to purchase new gear, though, because it’ll be available in the Washington, D.C., area beginning Feb. 2.

The name of the team is still unknown, but NBCSports Washington reports at least one player called the new name better than expected. If you’re a fan of the WFT or are even mildly aware of what kind of incompetent clown Daniel Snyder is, you know a player giving a lukewarm thumbs up counts as a win, so that’s a good sign, right?

It would just be nice if the fanbase could celebrate the rebrand with the team instead of having to wait a couple days. Who knows, maybe it’ll be super cool and people on the internet will have nothing but nice things to say about it.

Yeah, I don’t think so either.


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