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Crypto-investing hamster beats performance of Warren Buffett

This rodent is beating out human investors — and he doesn’t even have thumbs.

A cryptocurrency-trading hamster named Mr. Goxx has charmed the internet with his investment choices while simultaneously proving an important point about the randomness of success in the digital-currency industry. 

The Twitch-streaming house pet got involved with the blockchain after his owners, two anonymous 30-something German men, decided to act on their joking question of whether rodents could outsmart humans on the crypto market. 

“We were joking about whether my hamster would be able to make smarter investment decisions than we humans do,” the pair told the BBC. “It seems like most people from our generation see no other chance than throwing a lot of their savings on the crypto market, without having a clue what’s going on there.”

Goxx Capital’s headquarters
@mrgoxx Twitter

So they set up the hamster — who is named for failed crypto exchange Mt. Gox — with an “intention wheel,” two tunnels that indicate whether to buy or sell, and a tiny trading desk at the Goxx Capital headquarters (his hamster cage). By running on his intention wheel, Mr. Goxx chooses which cryptocurrency he’ll be trading that day. Every time he runs through a tunnel, his owners have wiring complete the trade accordingly.

Whenever the rodent enters his office, a livestream begins on Twitch, and his Twitter account alerts over 6,000 followers that Mr. Goxx has begun a trading session. Each tweet is accompanied by a clear disclosure that the whole setup is a joke. “DISCLAIMER This content is for entertainment purposes only. Investments shown here are not financial advice,” reads every single tweet by the account. 

“Currently the buy amounts are hard-coded to 20 euros,” or $24, the hamster’s humans told the crypto news site Protos. “Mr. Goxx is able to buy increments by passing the tunnel multiple times without entering the wheel, and there is a 20-second cool-down time after triggering.”

A tour of Mr. Goxx's hamster cage.
A tour of Mr. Goxx’s hamster cage
@mrgoxx Twitter

The hilarious rodent-run trading floor is shockingly successful: Mr. Goxx has a lifetime career performance up 19.41%, putting him ahead of many professional human traders and funds — including Warren Buffett’s company Berkshire Hathaway. 

He’s doing so well, his humans plan to give him even more responsibility in the operation.

“There are plans to give Mr. Goxx more control and let him intentionally pick his buy amount if the interest in his channel keeps growing,” his owners told Protos.


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