A brand new episode of “Red Table Talk” aired today titled “Is Polyamory For You?” The episode opened by Willow officially coming out as poly — with the full support of her mother and some reservations from her grandmother. Throughout much of the episode, Gammy tries to understand Willow’s decision to live a polyamorous lifestyle – seeking multiple intimate partners at the same time. The trio held a lively generational debate on marriage and monogamy, where Willow opened up about her decision to practice ethical non-monogamy, revealing that she actually has the least amount of sex as her friends, despite living the poly life. The show goes deeper into the subject when they are joined by Poly Solo Gabrielle Smith and her married boyfriend Alex, who come to the Table to reveal how their multiple-partner approach to relationships works, especially with his wife Bridget.
You can watch the full episode below but we excerpted some of the parts that struck us most.
What was really interesting to us is that what seems to have led Willow down this path is her belief that divorce is often the result of infidelity.
“With polyamory, I feel like the main foundation is the freedom to be able to create a relationship style that works for you and not just stepping into monogamy because that’s what everyone around you says is the right thing to do,” Willow explained. “So I was like, how can I structure the way that I approach relationships with that in mind? Also, doing research into polyamory, the main reasons why monogamous relationships– or why marriage– why divorces happen is infidelity.”
Correct us if we’re wrong — but we seem to recall both Will and Jada as intimating there is a lot of flexibility in their marriage for this same exact reason. Jada seems to confirm as much in the comments she makes in response to Willow’s disclosure.
“When you were like, ‘Hey, this is my get down’, I was like, ‘I totally get it’,” Jada said. ” Wanting to set up your life in a way that you can have what it is that you want, I think anything goes as long as the intentions are clear. You know what I mean?”
We love that Jada also stated the obvious on this episode, adding:
“Most people are practicing monogamy because they feel like they have no other choice. We all know that most people out here [are] doing unethical non-monogamy any-damn-way, OK?.”
Gam had a lot of questions but primarily stated she was not fully clear on what polyamory has to offer. In response to the question Willow asked, “Could you imagine being in a group and loving everyone equally?” “Whether it be platonic or not?”
Gam’s answer was a firm no.
We’re pretty sure she won’t be alone in this reaction.
Willow responded saying, “Well, then I don’t know what to say.”
“That’s because of Gam’s ideas around love, ” Jada clarified.
We love that Willow had an opportunity to speak MORE about her experiences and philosophies on this episode. At one point she admitted she has some real issues with the history of marriage:
“The history of marriage really irks me,” Willow said. ” Just the history of marriage as a whole and what it has represented over the years, for women in particular. I feel like the only way that I would get married is– let’s say me and my partner or partners wants to help people, and we need to put our finances together in order to make that vision happen. That’s the only way I could see myself getting married.”
There are several guests on this episode but our favorites are probably Gabrielle Smith and her boyfriend Alex. They really break down how their dynamic works and both the pros and cons they’ve encountered along the way. Gabrielle has a platonic female life partner who is married to her male sexual partner, she also has a married boyfriend Alex, who joins her on the show. Alex is married to a woman named Bridget who also has a boyfriend named Geoff.
Willow welcomes Gabrielle to the show saying, “I just wanna say, I’m so happy that you’re here because I see a lot of, you know, white people talking about this specific content. And when I came across your page, I was like– ‘Oh, my gosh. A young Black woman speaking her truth about this?’”
“That was my whole big thing,” Gabrielle responds, “The face of polyamory is mostly white people, and that’s not my reality, and I knew other people felt the same way. And the more you see that this is something that exists and this is something that’s possible for you, the more people feel, like, empowered.”
Yes, this is a lot to keep track of — but we’re not the ones sleeping with these people so it’s fine by us.
Kudos to Red Table Talk for another scintillating episode. They’ve given us LOTS to discuss. Do you think polyamory might be right for you or someone you know?
Keep up with Red Table Talk on social media @RedTableTalk #RedTableTalk